Cards

Photo by Ivett M on Unsplash

My story plays out on this table, in these cards.

Right now, the ones I identify with are the Lovers, with their emotional choice,
and the Hanged Man, who is unable to make one.
So like me.

Hanging upside down
to look at every angle,
calling it surrender
instead of hesitation.
A bit too close to home.

The harbingers of change are terrifying,
but they offer relief too —
a chance to surrender responsibility
to unseen powers.

The Tower, with its promise
to destroy every structure in its path.
Death, riding in with his skull face,
sweeping aside debris
to make space for new growth.
And the Wheel of Fortune
turning and turning —
good, bad, good, bad —
inexorably rising, falling, rising again.

The Sun and the Star give me hope,
and I need Strength every day.
The Moon is mystery, deep emotion, half-truths and shadows,
and the World is everything I want.

I love the Fool’s willingness
to step off the cliff,
an ability I sometimes wish I had.
With his bright little face
on his unseeing journey,
I envy his faith.
He’s traveling light.

I can never decide
if I want the Magician on my side or not.
Is he manifesting destiny
or is he a trickster?
And isn’t manifesting destiny
a very beautiful trick?

The Empress and the Emperor
feel like parents —
steady people who’ve been there, done that.
They seem to know
what they’re doing.

Then there are the judge-y cards:
Justice, Judgment, the Hierophant.
They tell me to be good
and scold me for being bad.
They warn me of consequences.

Which brings me to the Devil —
whom I secretly like —
because what is life
without a little darkness?
He looks terrifying,
but he reminds me
how dangerous things
can be so attractive.

Temperance tells me
to step back from the fire,
to slow down.
The High Priestess whispers secrets in my ear
at a frequency no one else can hear.
Sometimes, I drown her out myself.

And the Hermit makes me ache.
He walks alone
with his small lantern,
searching for his star.
Is this wisdom?
Running away?
Avoidance?

There is so much to learn
about who I am
and what I can read
in the stories hidden inside these pictures.

So I shuffle,
cut,
and read
over and over.